A brief testimony of sorts.
Hey folks I’m not a smart guy or anything. Some of you will remember what I was like years ago and I was not nice or good in anyway. I was a liar, cheat and worse. Since then things have changed a bit and as I struggle in this world and it’s brokeness I just feel I need to speak up as about this as my heart aches to share it.
In recent years I have learned a bit about God and Jesus and from the Bible. Not because someone pounded on my door or anything like that but I felt a drawing and a pull towards him. He was knocking at my front door. It started with an introduction years ago in high school due to my alcohol and drug addictions. Years later again after starting to use again he knocked at my door through wonderful people and slowly entered my life again.
Amazing that at my worst as a human and when I had no hope he reached out to me through loving souls who tried to help me.
Years later as I wrestled with this world and it’s issues. I started having thoughts about this God and tried out church and things kinda blossomed from there. I”ll steal a line from Morpheus in the Matrix for how I think and thought about our world and it’s brokeness is like a splinter in my mind I can’t get over.
I went to church reached out a bit and started to read his word, the bible.
Reading at first was not easy but I found out there were easier versions to help idiots like me. As I started to read it the truth jumped off the page and it started to change my life. It changed the way I thought and how I wanted to live, with it’s truth and honesty and well divine power.
With that said there are days I wish I could go back but that is just fear talking. While I read I saw truth, I saw and see the world as it is. I saw and see myself as how I really am. I’m in sin and daily have to battle against it through repentance and forgiveness. and following Jesus.
The Bible and Jesus tell me that there will be hard times for all people and for sure for those who follow him especailly, we will have trials and worse. It also tells me that through Jesus I have a direct way to access God through Prayer and through him and his teachings unlike the old days where we had to take other measures. I am told that he loves me, knows every hair on my head and knows my name. He wants to have a relationship with me and yes wants to save me from the world.
My heart breaks for this world and for humans. We are so worldly, we want money, we want safety and I know for me I miss the mark on the true calling of me as a human. To share, to love and to care for my fellow man. I am so wrapped up in money, safety that life and relationships pass me by. I spend more time on my phone that I do in prayer for my beautiful wife and kids and for you.
I”m sorry if I bounce around a bit but I’m writing this off the cuff.
I can tell you that I agree 100% with the Bible. It says that if we want to see God just look at his creation. I see the world not man made but his world the mountains, the rivers, the oceans and sky and stars and see a God an amazing God. I see him in so many places. I see the truth that we just didn’t appear here we are no mistake and food, animals and such didn’t just appear here for us either. We were fearfully made in HIS image. I see that God while I can’t understand it has a plan and has had it from the beginning.
My thoughts and prayer is one of rescue for myself, my family and anyone else to get out of the world and see what he has to offer with a relationship with him.
As I stated I’m not a smart guy so I can’t sit and defend this against questions of why and how come. I know for me that Creation is our way to see him and I see him plainly. I Look at it, get in it and spend time in it as we have no idea when our time is up on this earth. Being in Creation frees us to see the truth. Take a deep breath in it.
If you’re not interested in this that’s ok…….I do pray for all who read and don’t read this today not that I make a difference but that Jesus makes a difference he is the difference maker. My simple prayer is that he will knock on the door of your life like he knocked on mine. That HE will draw you in and HE will change your life.
I am sorry for the longer post and if anything for those in my past that I have forgotten and never said what I should have……..I am sorry and would love to talk to you.